I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
