both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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