I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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