Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
I currently don't understand fingers.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
