But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
