Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
