I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
