After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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