note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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