They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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