Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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