I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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