I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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