shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
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