dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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