hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
