It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
