Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
