We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i out mim tonsoeep
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