Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
