Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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