Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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