life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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