i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Randomize
