Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
