non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
