He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize