Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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