I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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