I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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