Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
