My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
