Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I think people are normalizing furries
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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