i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
