Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
