It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
