I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
