something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
Randomize
