that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
