just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize