I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
