how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
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