No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
