who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
