So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
