i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
