WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
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