I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
