Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
