I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Randomize
