You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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