Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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