I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
