i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
