it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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