whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
