OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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