tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
My breasts were aching with rage.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I did not marry a roomba.
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